For Procrastination

1.  DON’T WRITE TODAY.   Watch an entire television season in one sitting.  I suggest Lost, The Office, or The Gilmore Girls.

2.  DON’T WRITE TODAY.   You may hover between your blog, facebook, myspace, twitter, email and youtube; but don’t you dare open up that word file.

3.  DON’T WRITE TODAY.  Stay in bed as long as you can, interweaving various fantastical stories in your head; but make sure you never actually write them down.

4.  DON’T WRITE TODAY.  Instead, listen to all your favorite bands and imagine yourself as one of the lead players. 

5.  DON’T WRITE TODAY.  Make a list of errands that must be done before you go to your “real” job; but make sure you put Writing at the very bottom.  This will ensure that it just keeps getting bumped to the next day.  If you’re extra clever in juggling your schedule you could avoid writing for entire months at a time.

6.  DON’T WRITE TODAY.  Read an amazing book and then bash your head against a wall.  Repeat after me:  “You will never be good enough.  You will never be good enough.”

7.  DON’T WRITE TODAY.  Focus on spending quality time with family, even if that only means staring at a screen with your loved one sitting beside you.

8.  DON’T WRITE TODAY.  Devote your only free time to sorting through your bills and stressing over finances.

9.  DON’T WRITE TODAY.  Spend all day listening to just one more episode of This American Life.  You can do other things while you listen, like cleaning the house, washing the car, doing the dishes, baking….basically anything that doesn’t require sitting at your computer and creating your own narrative.

10.  DON’T WRITE TODAY.  Make a procrastination list instead!

There you have it.  My official procrastination list.  🙂   What’s yours?

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